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Tips for Embracing Everyday Mental Health

It’s funny that when I tell people that I am a Psychologist, they immediately think that I only work with people who are ‘ill’ and that Psychologists only work with depression or anxiety. But in life, looking after our everyday mental health is as important as looking after our physical health. There is even a whole branch of psychology that looks at the management of good mental health and striving to be better (positive psychology). So in the ups and downs of each day, it’s essential to recognise the impact that regular maintenance of our mental health serves. 

The Influence of Mental Health on Daily Life

Mental health is not merely the absence of illness but encompasses a spectrum of emotional, psychological, and social well-being that influences how we think, feel, and behave in our daily lives. When our mental health is thriving (maybe the better term is ‘mental wealth’), we may feel a sense of vitality, purpose, and connection with ourselves and others. Check out positivepsychology.com for a heap of articles and resources on this topic. It is this sense of vitality and purpose that regular self care and nurturing can encourage (see more tips below).

Nurturing Connection Amidst Challenges

Our everyday mental health can profoundly influence the dynamics of our relationships, shaping how we communicate, express emotions, and connect with others. When struggling with mental health challenges, such as depression or anxiety, we may find it challenging to maintain healthy boundaries, express ourselves authentically, or engage in meaningful connections with loved ones. It’s essential to recognize the impact of mental health on our relationships and prioritise open communication, empathy, and support in nurturing connection amidst challenges.

This can involve: 

  • Setting boundaries with a partner about when/what you talk about from work, do you prefer to leave work there or do you like to process your day; 
  • Engaging in sports or activities where you have a shared purpose or goal with others; 
  • Having a professional network where you can vent about issues specific to your work. 

Navigating Everyday Mental Health at Work

Our mental health can significantly impact our performance, productivity, and satisfaction in the workplace. When grappling with stress, burnout, or other mental health concerns, we may experience difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or interacting with colleagues and clients. To navigate mental health challenges at work, it’s crucial to prioritise self-care, set realistic goals and boundaries, and seek support from supervisors or mental health professionals as needed. Additionally, creating a supportive work environment that promotes work-life balance, flexibility, and open communication can foster your well-being and success.

Strategies for Daily Life: Nurturing Resilience and Self-Care

The relationship between mental health and physical health is deeply intertwined, each influencing the other in profound ways. When experiencing mental health challenges, such as chronic stress, anxiety or depression, we may be more susceptible to physical health issues, such as insomnia, digestive problems, or weakened immune function. 

On the other hand, prioritising physical health through regular exercise, eating well, and adequate sleep can positively impact our mental well-being, promoting resilience and vitality in the face of life’s challenges. Below are some simple examples of what you can do to support good baseline mental health functioning: 

  • Prioritise Self-Care: Find some time each day (could even just be 10 minutes) for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, whether it’s practising mindfulness, engaging in creative hobbies, or spending time in nature.
  • Seek Support: From research we know that having a support network is crucial in good mental health. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals for support and guidance when facing challenges or difficult emotions. You do not need to be talking about ‘deep’ issues with them, just the human contact is the most important part.
  • Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate awareness and acceptance of the here and now by practising mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga. There are some great resources out there for meditation (Smiling Mind app) and some fantastic authors on this as well (John Kabat-Zinn, Russ Harris).
  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in your relationships and commitments to protect your well-being and prioritise self-care. Remember, boundaries are for you and not for other people, they detail how we are going to respond if someone steps over the line, they do not dictate what others can and cannot do.

Embracing Mental Health as a Vital Aspect of Daily Life

As you navigate the complexities of daily life, remember that mental health is a vital aspect of your well-being that deserves attention, care, and compassion. By acknowledging the impact of mental health on various aspects of your life and embracing coping strategies and self-care practices, you can navigate challenges with resilience and authenticity. 

If you are looking for some assistance in relation to your everyday mental health, please feel free to Contact me.

5 Common questions about anxiety

Some of the most important work that I feel like I do as a Psychologist is providing psychoeducation and allowing people to explore the reasons and causes of their stresses. So I thought that putting together post that looks at questions about anxiety would be a good starting point.

Questions about anxiety

Will anxiety kill you?

Nope. Anxiety cannot and will not kill you. What you are feeling the the fight or flight system kicking into gear. Whether it was a real threat or a perceived one, your brain has made the decision that you need to get prepared for actual physical threat. An increase in adrenaline, heart rate and respiration are all indicators to the brain that there is something that must be addressed. However, with most anxiety there isn’t anything that actually can be fixed in the moment as it mainly comes from perceived threat. This perceived threat however can also trigger the feeling of impending doom because the brain is essentially trying to solve the problem by getting more attention for it. In short though, anxiety cannot kill you.

Can anxiety make me feel sick?

Yes, absolutely. Anxiety can cause feelings of nausea, stomach pains and a general feeling of being unwell. As above, the body is getting ready for an imminent threat and puts more stress on the body. The increase in hormones like adrenaline can cause feelings of nausea. Rarely some people will feel the need to throw up or go to the toilet. Just know that feelings of nausea when you are anxious are not actually indicators of any worse problems and just the body trying to adapt to the increased stress.

Can anxiety cause a heart attack?

Not immediately. We mentioned the stress that the body is under during periods of anxiety and if this remains untreated for a long period of time it can lead to cardiovascular and heart disease. So if you are having a panic attack it will not likely lead to an immediate heart attack (despite what your brain is telling you). Here is a great article on how to differentiate the two.

Where does anxiety come from?

The development of anxiety can come from many places. Previous trauma, upbringing and lessons about the ‘safety’ of the world, stress, depression and many other factors can impact the development of anxiety. The important thing to remember is that, even if it develops all of a sudden and you have never had it before, it doesn’t mean that it is a catastrophic event. The important thing is seeking out some treatment so that you can establish your baseline and work on mitigating the impact of the symptoms.

What is the treatment for anxiety?

Your clinician will often start out with working out what is contributing to your anxiety and depending on their approach will start to look at some strategies. This will often look deeper at the ‘why’ of your anxiety, but will often also include experiential strategies such as relaxation, exposure and habituation learn how to approach anxiety provoking situations. Common therapy models for anxiety are Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT).

If you have more questions about anxiety, or you would like to book an appoitment, please Contact Us.

I bought a new razor to live better

I bought a new razor. But isn’t this a psychology blog? Well yes, I have a point. So after Christmas 2022, I bought a new razor, but not one from the supermarket but rather one from Beard and Blade, a specialist hair and shaving site. It’s a old style safety razor, I remove the top and place a blade and put it all back together again. Why? Well for one, the cost of everything is going up and I can buy a years worth of saftey razors for less than what I can buy a month of fancy 3 blade plastic monstrosities. The other reason was that I feel that razors bought at supermarkets significantly complicate the process and I couldn’t be assed to balance number of blades against mositurising against flexibility every time that I purchased blades.

So I stopped.

Why do I feel the need to talk about it here? Because, as humans, we significantly complicate things in our lives without the need. We want to find the reasons and the answers. We want to fight negative thoughts and only have positive vibes, but that is such a toxic way to live (Check out the book Toxic Positivity for more on this).

Most people know what is going to help them, they are just too caught in the complications to get any real benefit from their self care.

In therapy I often tell clients that I am not here to teach them incredible new strategies or techniques to help them, but to help them to re-identify the things that have worked for them in the past and then actually execute those strategies. Here’s the dirty secret of therapy – most people know what is going to help them, they are just too caught up in the complications to get any benefit. That is where the psychologist/therapist/counsellor/mentor comes in, the person who is able to see through the complications and break things down to the bare bones to get you back on track.

Personally, I tried many things before I found what worked for my anxiety. Self help books, incense, herbal tea, sleeping less and pushing myself to try to ‘achieve.’ But I was avoiding that there were some things sitting right there that would help me, but that required (‘ugh’) effort. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we are inherently lazy or that we can work ourselves out of depression and anxiety but rather that the brain will hyperfocus on the things that it thinks will immediately take away the discomfort (or stay the same and avoid all that new discomfort). So the shiny new self help book, the ‘new’ method of pouring cold water down your pants, the new vitamin, they all look really appealing to a brain that just wants to remove distress immediately. The brain does not want to admit that what it really needs are strategies that are slow burning and build on each and every day, rather than a finger snap and miracle cure.

But what actually worked for me? Making sure that I exercise regularly (make sure that step count is done), reading and making sure that I am having down time (I’m a sucker for scifi novels), making sure that I have a routine and adhere to getting the things done that need to be done within the week and then stopping. That’s one of the main issues that I have seen people have, they tend to do the following:

  • Complicate their daily tasks
  • Get stuck in the weeds and not get anything done
  • Get to the weekend and still be spinning the wheels, therefore now having to work or ‘achieve’ in what should be downtime
  • Repeat.

The real trick is working out what those things are that need to be done, getting them scheduled and then leaving the rest out. If you find you have more energy or time then you can always add more, but trying to jam pack your days will constantly lead to further stress, as we aren’t very good at working under high pressure for a long period of time.

So basically, stick to the basics to get yourself back in the right lane and then add the extra stuff on top. This may take some more time than you are used to, but I can guarantee that setting a stable basis is going to have massive effects to your long term mental wellness.

Managing Family stress on the Holidays

Managing difficult times means preparing as much as possible. We wouldnt go into an exam without study or into a work meeting without gathering the required information. So to cut out stress early make sure that you are doing the basics well and getting good sleep, working on meditation (or whatever relaxation works for you), exercising and engaging with hobbies. If this is new to you, maybe start as soon as possible before the holidays, but do the best you can.

Time off is also a great time to get hobbies and interests on track for the New Year and start some good habits for the future. 

Know your triggers

It’s easy to think that what someone else does or says is what sets our frustration off, but it’s more likely to be a combination of factors. Is it a lack of sleep that sets you on edge and therefore more frustrated at silly comments, is it too much alcohol the night before or skipping breakfast? Knowing what is more likely to be associated with a bad day is a big step in being able to better manage our stress when it does arise. 

Work out your outs 

You don’t need a Jodie Foster Panic Room setup to avoid the uncle that wants to talk politics, but you can definitely set up some arrangements that work and that are a bit more subtle. You’ve already worked out your triggers, so you know when it is going to be more important to set these up. 

  • Leave the room and find a quiet place (use the excuse of it being too hot/cold); 
  • Take a pet for a walk to “Get them out of the way” for a little bit 
  • Pop on those new headphones or earbuds and ‘test them out’ 
  • Engage in some play with children or animals. 

Any of these don’t have to involve direct confrontation (which can cause additional stress or conflict) and allows us to deal with our own feelings without having to bring them to the fore.

Research in Blood Phobia – what helps and what doesn’t

As noted in a 2004 research paper, blood phobia is ‘the neglected one‘ when it comes to treatment options and research. I thought that I might have a look at some of the findings of research for blood phobia and to look at what seems to work and what may not work. I will also look at some of the clinical presentations of blood phobia and how it may present.

  • Several studies show that syncope (fainting) is far more likely to occur in people with blood phobia than other phobias. Around 80% of those with blood phobia will pass out when exposed to stimulus.
  • Those with blood phobia may have related health issues due to the avoidance of health care. Some studies show up to 15% will avoid dental treatment due to their fear.
  • Applied Tension seems to be the most common treatment, with Applied Relaxation and Exposure also being common.
  • In response to feared stimulus, people with blood phobia may breath irregularly which may lead to loss of consciousness.

From a lot of the above research it has been shown that individual elements need focus in hemophobia treatment (eg breathing), however there is also a need for treatment to look at the whole of person approach – breathing, fear, exposure, anxiety reduction – in order to ensure that patients get the best outcomes possible from their treatment.

As blood phobia (and blood injury injection phobia) is seen as the neglected phobia, I am currently in the process of building a treatment program which may assist people with these phobias in the safety of their own home. If you are interested in learning more, or being notified when the course goes live, please sign up for the email newsletter below.

If you would like some further assistance around your blood phobia, please Contact Us.

Your hobbies suck or, Why you need to seek better joy.

Yep, you read that right, your hobbies suck. I’m not apologising for it because it is true. You play with your kids? Spend time with your partner? Garden? Go to the gym? Wow, what a rule breaker. Your hobbies suck, they really do.

I often sit across the room in therapy with a client and I ask them what they do for fun and invariably they say that they ‘love to spend time outside’ or ‘I exercise’ or ‘What’s that’. This is often after a wry grin and a laugh because, as an adult, we don’t often think about fun, we might have passive activities that help us wind down (like TV or reading) but as for fun, forget it.

Why do your hobbies suck? Because most of the things that people call hobbies are not hobbies, they are are obligations. So really they are hob-ligations, they are things that you call a hobby, but are really things you can’t go without doing. Much like the washing, or mopping the floors they are a demand on your time which will create a sense of frustration if it is not done.

Hobby: an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure

When I am talking to clients about mental health I want them to be able to identify what they can do to derive some pleasure from their lives. To set aside their anxieties, fears and problems and allow some space for the brain to process, or see things from a different angle. Engaging in hobligations is not that. Hobligations must be done in order for us to feel accomplished and that is perfectly reasonable. As adults there is just shit that needs doing and we understand that.

So what’s the difference?

Let’s look at a hobligation like exercise, what happens if you don’t do it for a week? You might feel that you have too much energy, your sleep may suffer, you may be irritable or annoyed at the people around you. So while it does provide you with physical health benefits, the removal of it leads to negative consequences.

On the other hand a hobby, as referenced in the quote above is done for pleasure and not for the removal of a negative emotional or physical state. Let’s look at drawing, if we don’t do it for a week, we are unlikely to feel negative effects (and if we do, then it is a hobligation). We can always come and go with it and there is no formal commitment to it. If this is something that creates joy for you, then it is a hobby.

The key here is joy and lack of negative consequences. Anything can be an obligation/hobligation depending on our stage in life, or what we are seeking from an activity. The key is to ensure that you have a good mix of obligations, hobligations and hobbies in your week.

So I’ll ask again, what are your hobbies?

Accessing a Psychologist in Australia

Mental Health Care Plan – a Mental health care plan is a referral written by a GP which entitles you to access between 10-20 sessions with a Psychologist. It is important to note that even with this referral you are not entitled to bulk billing. Many Psychologists may charge a fee on top of the Medicare rebate. Expect to be $50-100 out of pocket if you access services through this type of referral.

Bulk Billing Psychology – unfortunately due to cost of living rises it is often not possible for psychologists to run a pure bulk billing practice, however if you do have a Mental Health Care Plan (above) you can always request lower or bulk billed fees from your Psychologist. Many practices often hold a few bulk billing sessions per clinician.

Privately – Any person in Australia can access psychological care privately. This means that you do not receive a referral from a Doctor, but contact the Psychologist directly. You will have to pay out of pocket for your sessions, however if you are covered by private health insurance they may cover some of the cost of your sessions.

NDIS Funding – some Psychologists in the private sector will be accredited through the National Disability Insurance Scheme. Sessions will often be covered in full under you personal plan.

Employee Assistance Programs – many companies in Australia (both small and large) offer their employees access to an assistance program which is often staffed by Psychologists. These programs tend to be more short term and immediate solution focussed, but often a great way of commencing therapy.

Worker’s Compensation (Workcover etc) – if you are injured at work (physically or psychologically) and struggling to return to work due to your mental health or coping you can request to see a Psychologist. This is often organised/authorised through your GP and case manager.

Chronic Disease Management Plan (prev EPC Plan) – this plan, prepared by your GP allows people with Chronic Diseases to access care from a range of professionals including Psychologists. The plan is limited in the amount of sessions (5 across all professionals) however can be a good way to start to work on the psychological side of Chronic Illness (pain, diabetes, injury etc)

Headspace – for those 12-25 Headspace is a Federally funded health service for young people. This service requires and assessment through Headspace and a referral from your GP and is bulk billed through Medicare.

Public Health Services – State health services may offer some emergency assessments and appointments with Psychologists, however these services are often in very high demand.

What is the treatment for blood phobia (hemophobia)

Hemophobia, blood phobia, fear of blood, whatever you call it, can be a major problem in the lives of sufferers. Broadly called blood-injury-injection phobia is a relatively common phobia and we are going to talk a little bit about the treatment options.

A phobia, unlike a fear, is an unconscious response to a feared stimulus which causes dysfunction for the person. To differentiate, the fear is often so intense that the sufferer will go to great lengths to avoid seeing, hearing or even thinking about the issue.

As you can imagine, a fear of blood can be a major impediment in a person’s life. There are many times or situations when you may be exposed to blood and having a phobic response every time often gets out of hand for the sufferer.

People with hemophobia and fear of needles will often avoid medical appointments out of fear of what they may be exposed to. They will avoid routine vaccination and blood testing, putting them at higher risk of long term health complications.

How does treatment for blood phobia work?

EXPOSURE THERAPY! It sounds so scary, right? Well that isn’t the intention at all. Blood phobia (and other phobias) are treated through the exposure to the feared stimulus in a controlled environment. In order for treatment to work it is important that the treatment does not get to a point where the sufferer is being traumatised by the treatment or that they feel significantly uncomfortable.

To work through treatment safely, the sufferer is taught coping skills, learns about their phobia and what triggers it and only when they are comfortable with this do they start to actually work on exposing themselves to the stimulus in a very slow and guided manner.

Treatment of blood phobia can be difficult to engage with, as the sufferer often thinks ‘I will do that one day’ but that day never comes and they are constantly exposed to situations that trigger their phobia. As a result I have developed a Blood Phobia Treatment course which I will be launching very soon on this website. If you would like to be informed when this course becomes available, please join the mailing list below.

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Better mental health today

5 Steps to better mental well-being

There are so many ways that are sold to help you with better mental health and with the Internet being a big part of our lives it is so hard to determine fact from fiction.  The big issue is that people tend to look at wholesale change, rather than everyday habit to help them feel better. As a result we tend to miss the really important things – the simple things. In seeking answers people tend to over-complicate what the answer (and problem) is and decide that they need 4 different types of massage as well as a several week long self development course, and only then will they feel better. Unfortunately, these things just don’t last – you might get a boost from them for a few weeks (or months) but then all of a sudden you find that you are back to how you were feeling previously.

So, here are 5 things that I recommend that everyone does in order to improve their mental health. These suggestions are easy to follow through on and are something that you can build really good habits around.

  1. Exercise – it doesn’t have to be much, as exercise can help with the regulation of mood, sleep and stress. The old advice is still relevant – park a little further from work (or school pickup), add to your regular exercise routine;
  2. Breathe – mindfulness meditation isn’t about donning robes and reaching nirvana, it is about slowing your head down enough so that you are able to be present in the moment and deal with things as they come (rather than worrying about the past or the future) – I use the Smiling Mind app – great, short and effective meditations for busy people. Have kids and don’t have time? Stop making excuses – the app also has a kids program that you can do with them;
  3. Socialise – just speak to someone! Whether it is messaging an old friend, spending time getting to know a colleague or catching up with a family member in person, or online – it doesn’t matter. Engagement with others helps us to externalise problems and also to assist in building perspective around what we are currently dealing with;
  4. Challenge yourself – make sure that you are not taking the easy route. Is there an email to a colleague that you are dreading? Send it. Have you put off your tax return this year because of the amount of paperwork? Start putting it together. The problem is, the more stressed we become the easier our brains try to take it on us, as a result all the things that cause stress tend to build up and the more that we push it back, the more stress it builds. On top of all your challenging tasks? Find a new one – try places like Udemy or Coursera to learn a new skill or language (at your own pace)
  5. Do something for enjoyment – Remember hobbies? Probably not. Find a new hobby, engage with an old one. “But I’m time poor” I constantly hear, but yet people keep up to date with The Bachelor or their Facebook friends. As with all of the other items on this list, the amount of time isn’t important, the engagement is. Play the guitar for 10 minutes, break out the crochet hooks and make something, read a book – the process, not the outcome, is the goal.

Remember that these are general tips for mental wellbeing and not for the treatment of mental health disorders. If you are struggling with your mental health, please get in contact with your GP or contact me to book an appointment (online or face to face).

Anxiety at work

There has been a lot of focus on stress and anxiety at work in the past few weeks, with several news articles coming out talking about these issues.

I thought that it would be good to look at some of the reasons that people present to a Psychologist for anxiety at work to help to normalise this illness. The vast majority of my clients will talk report the fact that they are having some type of anxiety whilst they are at work and that this effects their ability to work effectively. This phenomena isn’t just for men or women, or people working in office jobs, anxiety cuts across all people and work types.

Some of the examples of ways that people realise that there is a problem:

  • Feeling constantly exhausted – not wanting to go to work or having difficulty getting out of bed, or on the other hand feeling ‘braindead’ when they get home from work and unable to engage with partners or children;
  • Panic episodes  – increased heart rate, feeling constantly nauseous, butterflies in the stomach, a feeling that you need to escape from the situation;
  • Periods of poor work output – finding that you are easily distracted and unable to focus on the tasks that you need to;
  • Avoidance of employees or managers – feeling that interactions with others are too difficult or that they are unable to understand simple solutions

These are all perfectly normal reactions to stress and anxiety and they don’t mean that there is anything majorly wrong with you. Anxiety and stress are both highly responsive to treatment meaning that a conversation with you GP, a referral to a psychologist or some simple changes to your behaviours, thoughts and routines can lead to a great reduction in your symptoms.

As a manager you can engage your employees with an Employee Assistance program or with a supportive environment that they are able to seek support. There are also great support websites such as Black Dog Institute and Beyond Blue which can help provide information and guidance as to the next steps that you may need to take.

Insite Psychology Gold Coast also provides support to managers and employees in relation to stress, anxiety and depression – you can contact us here